A completely factual, 100% verified map of the solar system according to the most reliable corners of the internet.
Features the Counter-Earth at the L3 Lagrange point, the impending doom of Planet X, and several ancient alien artifacts that the government absolutely doesn't want you to know about.
The central star. Many top-tier forum posters theorize it is actually a massive LED projection hiding the true center of the universe.
Our pale blue dot. Definitely a sphere, despite what a very vocal minority on the holonet loudly claims.
A 13,000-year-old extraterrestrial satellite in a near-polar orbit. Officially classified by space agencies as a "dropped thermal blanket," which is exactly what they WOULD say.
Earth's natural satellite. Allegedly rang like a bell for an hour when a lander crashed into it, proving it is a hollow alien spacecraft.
Located strictly on the far side of the moon. Emits low-frequency hums and occasionally requests shipments of cheese.
A hypothetical planet sharing Earth's exact orbit, perpetually hidden behind the Sun. Home to a highly advanced civilization with a bizarre obsession with terrestrial radio broadcasts.
A highly volatile, glowing moon orbiting the Counter-Earth. It is fueled purely by spite.
A china teapot orbiting peacefully between Earth and Mars. Because it is too small to be seen by telescopes, you cannot definitively prove it is NOT there.
The red planet. Covered entirely in iron oxide and highly suspicious geometric anomalies.
A massive, eroded mesa in the Cydonia region that looks exactly like a humanoid face. Definitely an ancient Martian monument and not just a trick of light and shadows.
Officially a cigar-shaped interstellar asteroid. Unofficially, it is obviously a dormant alien light-sail probe gathering data on our dankest memes.
The infamous Planet X. Foretold by ancient mystics and modern internet bloggers to crash into Earth and cause the apocalypse any day now... still waiting.
A sprawling orbital megastructure housing the shape-shifting reptilian overlords who allegedly run all of Earth's governments.
The Sun's evil, hidden twin star. Blamed for flinging comets at Earth every 26 million years, causing mass extinctions, and hiding your missing socks.